Poetry

Vernacular Exchange

Alan Gould

 

 

    “When, girl, you paid my rent

and toy boys lacked the password for

your website where my mouse went spare

then I was happy as Clark Kent

    unsheathing from his gear.”

 

    “You claim I shared your bed?

If so, I was no second fiddle

to Ms Britney Baring-Myddle,

but could claim the high regard

    of the ABC and Board.”

 

    “Starlet and dynamo,

it’s Britney now keeps me in trim

in our horizontal gym.

To keep our doodah on the go

    I’d gladly eat my Porsche.”

 

    “Quite so, and here’s my bloke

owns the seafront at Vaucluse.

Commitment is the word we use,

and if his millions go in smoke,

    we’re still The Item, us.”

 

    “Here’s a notion; say

a guy like me had lit your screen

with what could be from what had been,

say Britney’s exit was au fait,

    what then, O ex?”

 

    “Fair question, Slime!

Though guys like you are always greasy

And guys like mine must keep me busy,

I’d find for you a little time—

    quality time.”